As my test site, I chose a well-known national chain bookstore in a fairly conservative neighborhood of Manhattan. Neither my partners nor I identified as gay men, so what did we think we were doing? In general, gay men seem to embrace anal sexuality and discuss it more honestly than others. The Truth About Girls and Boys Of the little that has been written about anal eroticism, much has been by and for men who have anal sex with other men. A few stay with it usually because the woman finds that it gives her intenser feelings than the normal route and is pleasurably tight for the man. For example, in the first edition of the very popular The Joy of Sex , published in , Dr.
Most recently, anal sex has been linked to the AIDS virus and represented as dangerous and even deadly. Anal Pleasure Stuck in the Margins In general self-help sex manuals and other books that claim to cover the full spectrum of sexual practices, anal sex usually receives a mere few pages or a couple of sentences—if it is not left out altogether. According to the majority of safer sex guidelines at the time, anal sex was how you got AIDS. The majority of the books were devoted to improving the sexual awareness and the sex lives of readers—they discussed how to have hot sex, better sex, orgasmic sex, more sex, and safer sex. Obviously, there is a significant market for sex books. While it is an incredibly groundbreaking, informative, and insightful work, it seems odd that it is the only one in a field populated by so much selection and variety. The progress made in the sexually liberated s and the decadent s, which contributed to a wider acceptance of many sexual practices previously considered taboo including anal sex , was squelched by AIDS phobia in the s. A Definitive Survey , there is only brief information about anal eroticism and health. Each time I could take a little more and give a little more, I felt more sexually alive and powerful. In popular titles like Dr. Then came more fingers, tongues, vibrators, small dildos, bigger dildos, butt plugs, a penis, bigger butt plugs, even an entire small hand. There are rarely representations of women who enjoy anal sex with either men or women. As I incorporated anal eroticism into my sex life, my sex life became better and better. Among the thousands of books about sex currently in print, many are quite focused and specialized, covering such topics as solo sex, oral sex, vibrator sex, sex after fifty, fantasy sex, lesbian sex, phone sex, role-playing sex, gay sex, tantric sex, healing sex, transgender sex, cybersex, leather sex, kinky sex. And yet among the sea of sex volumes, there is only one about anal sex. Because gay men were becoming infected in alarming numbers, they became designated the high-risk group. The sensations I experienced were so intense, incredible, and heavenly that it was mind-blowing. Then heterosexuals and lesbians started getting sick. I became sexually active in the eighties, just at the beginning of the AIDS crisis; by the time I became more sexually literate and experienced and discovered the pleasures of anal sex, AIDS had become epidemic. There are also titles devoted to erotic massage, foreplay, romance, cross-dressing, monogamy, and nonmonogamy. I confess too that beyond the deep body gratification, the naughtiness of it all really turned me on. The coverage of anal sexuality pales in comparison to thoughtful, thorough, and informative sections on just about every other kind of sexuality; in addition, the information presented is often negative, misinformed, outdated, and even incorrect. In fact, in spite of the cultural taboo and largely because of AIDS, many members of the gay community have openly acknowledged that gay men have anal sex. A few stay with it usually because the woman finds that it gives her intenser feelings than the normal route and is pleasurably tight for the man. The first time someone put a finger in my butt, I almost went crazy from the pleasure.
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